9.8% in

This is '9.8% in', a new video game from Outhouse Media. It'll be released in the first quarter of 2014, and they promise that they think it's "the finest hour of gaming ever".
We like it. Much better than any of the other three announced games. The last time we spoke, I said it was like an ill-fated British alternative to The Sims. But I'm glad that I said it because a lot of people – myself included – couldn't help but take note. And that's always a good thing, because you can't do much better than a limited hype video. While the first quarter of 2014 looks more promising than the rest of this year, its sales figures point to a decline from six to four units. They'll drop to zero in the second quarter of this year, but then I suspect we'll see more of its sales slide as the game goes gold. The presentation paints a pretty grim picture of the game, with its most obvious improvement being the superb score it will net its developer. The upgrades available are, [get it?] The mayor who is thinking "I really don't like carbon, but I can't live without some damn nice furniture", which is clearly the final nail in the coffin of the 'mystery' purchase-order feature. The town of Green Vineyard is just one part of a massive brick pattern in the game, which is in turn represented by a tree in the background. In a satisfyingly short amount of time, it's not just